Hi, I’m Megan. I’m a former ballerina, a seamstress, a mom to three absolutely adorable children (if I do say so myself). I love gardening, baking, my flock of chickens, bubble baths, and Diet Coke. I have Type 1 diabetes. I hate roller coasters.
Hate may seem like a strong word for roller coasters. Don’t worry, I’ve given them more than a fair chance. The whole process is uncomfortable for me: the anticipation and fear growing while waiting in line, the anxiety of buckling all the things correctly, and praying the ride inspectors were on the ball when they checked everything. The adrenaline rush as the ride begins feels eerily like a low blood sugar sending my body into fight or flight mode.
I spend the rest of the ride trying to enjoy, but mostly trying to contain the impulse to scream and cry. The ride ends and whichever family member had the “privilege” of riding with me now has plenty of opportunity for teasing. I try to be a good sport, but truly, I hate roller coasters.
Unfortunately for me living with Type 1 diabetes is not only a roller coaster, it’s a roller coaster in the dark (Space Mountain is a special kind of torture for me)! Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed. I’ve lived a wonderful life so far. As a child I had amazing friends and family members who always supported me and didn’t let diabetes stand in the way of my dreams. As I’ve had more experience being a parent myself I’m increasingly grateful for my friends’ parents who never once made me feel like a burden as they let me come to their homes for playdates, sleepovers, and even weekend get-aways.
I am blessed. As a young adult I had jobs teaching dance that I loved (even running my own studio out of my house in Texas). I student taught 3rd grade in Sandy and graduated with a degree from the University of Utah. I married an amazing man, who has always had wonderful employers with great insurance options, sparing us from the financial burden this disease brings for so many.
I am blessed. I have three incredible children. Despite them all being high-risk pregnancies and needing many extra appointments and tests they are all perfect. I am so blessed. In over twenty years of diabetes I have only been hospitalized once and in over ten years of marriage my husband has only had to call for an ambulance one time for me. Thus far I have no health complications related to diabetes. I truly am so so blessed.
After reading that list of accomplishments from my life you might be thinking, “that sounds pretty awesome; looks like a successful roller coaster ride to me.” And you’d be right, but like the photo that you get to see at the end of the ride that’s just a snapshot of one moment. What many people don’t see are the hardships living with a chronic disease comes with. I never know when a big roller coaster drop might come (a bad low blood sugar that makes me feel like I’ve been hit by a train and wipes me out for a day). Or the ride that your family really wanted to go on but ends up making you nauseas (when I eat something new with hidden carbs and it sends my blood sugar soaring and makes me feel like I have the flu for several hours).
Other challenges are when sickness or injury takes extra long to recover from because my body is already fighting a battle, when I have to ask my small children to find juice or strangers if they have anything I could eat so I don’t pass out, or when scar tissue throws a wrench in insulin absorption rates. And the math, oh so much math. Diabetes has too many variables, no matter how many buckles, safety checks, or devices you add you just cannot be prepared for every sudden turn or change in direction on this roller coaster in the dark.
That being said treatment options have come such a long way. Technology has definitely made life with this disease so much better. A pump and a continuous glucose monitor do the best they can to prepare for and recover from those roller coaster ups and downs. When I was diagnosed my doctor told me there surely would be a cure by the time I was 15. He probably had no idea how hard my 9-year old brain would latch on to that. My 15th birthday was marked with the pain that there was in fact no cure yet. Many more birthdays have come and passed and I’m still not sure when a cure will come, but it feels closer than ever. Perhaps children diagnosed now will see a cure for their 15th birthdays. The research and trials around the world are making incredible advances, but they need support, they need funding. There is so much hope to be had. Life expectancies are going up and complications are going down. My life with Type 1 diabetes is challenging, unpredictable, and hard, but also wonderful. I am blessed. And still, I’d really love to get off the roller coaster.